The Medical Marriage - how to create and maintain a passionate relationship when you are a practicing physician

This week I lead a workshop for medical couples and a very interesting thing happened.

Two long time couples got into arguments in the training

After some detailed questions it became clear that literally the only thing holding their relationships together now is the money. Each physician spouse was literally begging to be a priority in their doctor's life in front of the whole room.

All they wanted was some of their time and attention. In each case the physician's time, energy and awareness was almost completely occupied by their career - and had been so for decades. 

The spouse wasn't even playing second fiddle here ... they were a member of the audience at best. Not good.

Quadruple Aim - is it the antidote to Physician Burnout?

[related: Physician Leadership Dirty Little Secrets]

Physician Burnout is the Rodney Dangerfield of issues confronting our rapidly changing healthcare environment

It get's no respect ... at least until now.

In a dramatic mainstream journal article published in the latest issue of Annals of Family Medicine, the authors have proposed using Physician Burnout to redefine the Institute for Healthcare Improvement's Triple Aim for healthcare.

Here is the Triple Aim:

• Enhancing the patient experience
• Improving population health
• Reducing costs

I hope you can see the blind spot in this three part formula

Let's listen to the authors state what should have been blatantly obvoius from the start ... 

They note:

Physician Burnout Book - "Stop Physician Burnout - what to do when working harder isn't working"

Here's the first step-by-step guide to lower your stress levels, prevent physician burnout, build a more ideal practice and a more balanced life.

We have taken over 1637 hours of experience from one-on-one coaching with physician clients and packed it all into our first physician burnout book. This is the first comprehensive manual any doctor can use to stop physician burnout ... and along the way build a more ideal practice, no matter what your specialty.

Here's the Table of Contents, a sample chapter on why Physician Burnout is not actually a "problem" and links to learn more and get your own personal copy.

Physician Burnout Lessons from Albert Einstein

Time and time again I end up quoting Einstein to my physician burnout coaching clients.

The two quotes in this short video are so powerful when it comes to recognizing and reversing physician burnout. Learn them by heart and live them in your practice and your life. You will be way ahead of the game when you do.

I am not sure what the link is between physics and work-life balance. Perhaps there are basic and immutable laws that apply in both arenas. All I know is when I am working with client on physician burnout issues ... all you have to do is memorize these two laws and then live them and you will quickly reverse the downward spiral.

Physician Burnout, Vulnerability and Your Group's Culture

I am often asked if I am familiar with the work of Brene Brown and especially her tremendously popular TED videos "The power of vulnerability" and "Listening to shame".

These are fabulous introductions to the topic of vulnerability that can help all of us who see patients on two distinct levels.

Patient Vulnerability:

I highly recommend these videos to all physicians because vulnerability and shame are woven through any authentic healing encounter. It is important to understand and navigate the patient's shame and vulnerability whenever you enter the exam room.

Physician Vulnerability:

Brene Brown's work is also immediately relevant to physician burnout. Vulnerability and shame are experience all of us feel personally when our practice becomes too much. This is especially true for male physicians because of our habit of not reaching out for help.

I love Brene Brown's work but it is incomplete.