The Challenge of Giving Feedback to Leadership
In this post, you'll discover a crucial skill set for speaking up the chain of command when you're upset by a bad leadership decision.
Your organization has made a decision you don't understand, maybe implemented something that doesn't make sense, and you've had to step in and take actions to save the day. How do you talk to your boss in a way that lets you say what needs to be said and their knickers not get in a twist? Check it out.
Let me show you how to speak to your boss in a way that doesn't challenge their ego, that gets the two of you on the same page, and allows you to give them the feedback they need because they just made a decision or took an action that has harmed the front line. You're closer to the front line than they are. You know this didn't make sense and was implemented incorrectly, and you want to give that feedback in a way that actually changes things for the better.
Here's one way to do it that works almost every time.Why Leaders Resist Critical Feedback
This is an exciting topic for me because I often see a front line physician leader coaching client, witness a decision the organization makes - or an action that they take - that doesn't make any sense.
They take action to clean up the mess on their own initiative, but hesitate to give honest feedback of the chain of command about this failure. It's almost always because there's a history of having tried this before in a way that didn't work. Their boss got upset and their feedback was ignored.
Why is this? Why is this type of feedback so often met with resistance?
EGO
When you tell someone up the chain that something didn't work, they they can always take it as a personal challenge to their leadership. Ego is a fragile thing. Any time you tell a leader that something happened that damaged trust, they might feel personally attacked.
So what I'm going to teach you is a technique called Values First.
The "Values First" Approach
Here’s the key:
- Any time a decision or an action makes you shake your head, or is upsetting, or makes you question what were they thinking?
- What has actually happened is that the action or decision has clashed with values you hold dear.
- We tend to notice the emotional reaction first, but if you take a step back, you’ll see that it’s really about a values conflict.
To communicate effectively, lead the conversation with your core values.
Let me give you an example:
A client of mine saw their organization roll out a compensation formula change in a really poor fashion. The CFO failed repeatedly to explain the formula clearly. Now, instead of saying, Hey, your presentation sucks. Don’t do that, my client took the Values First approach.
Here’s how it went:
"Chuck, thanks for your time. I know you’re really busy, and I just want you and I to get on the same page. Some values that are very important to me are transparency (telling the truth at all times), fairness (ensuring everyone understands how this formula affects their salary), and trust (knowing the full reasoning behind the change)."
Once those values were established, he asked:
"What’s your relationship to these values? How important do you feel they are? Are these values you want to project to our frontline workers?"
By securing alignment first, he created a foundation for the conversation before giving feedback.
Handling Resistance and Emotional Reactions
This Values First approach helps avoid ego clashes. If you secure agreement on shared values first, then your feedback is seen as a way to uphold those values, not as criticism.
Another key tip: If emotions come up for you in these conversations—especially anger or frustration—name your emotion, don’t become it.
Example:
"Chuck, I’ve got to let you know that when I see what happens in your presentations, a lot of frustration comes up for me.
By stating the emotion without embodying it, you get your feelings acknowledged without escalating the situation.
Using Values First When You Have to Clean Up the Mess
Another time to use Values First is when a decision is made without input, and you have to step in and fix the mess. If an action violated trust, transparency, or teamwork, take a moment to define what values were violated, then start your conversation with those values first.
Before you approach leadership:
-
Identify the violated values.
-
Rehearse your first 30 seconds of the conversation.
-
Get alignment on values before giving feedback.
-
Name your emotions without becoming them.
This approach ensures far greater success in these crucial conversations.
Final Thoughts
Values First. When you’re upset, lead with values. Get alignment first. Then, give the feedback that will improve the situation.
Notice, too, what you learn: if your values don’t align with those of your boss, that’s valuable information about how to navigate your role moving forward.
That’s it for today. Keep breathing, and have a great rest of your day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT
How did your Values First approach work with Your Boss?